I've just watched a beautiful Danish movie. It's the second (or third - woteva) time I watch it and the point of it only just hit my daft analytical 'abilities' now! [smile] The title serves to enforce the blow of the point: "I Kina spiser de hunde" which translates into "They Eat Dogs in China."
It's a part of a 'recent' renaissance in the Danish film industry (besides Von Trier's stuff) - a renaissance that started off with the so-called 'dogme' genre which funded the small company's climb to excellent satire and ironic-comedic filmings.. wonderful really! But all this' beside the point.. The point is:
The movie's about this regular guy who works at a bank, lives with his girlfriend in his average apartment and plays squash for fun. One day a bank robber tries to rob his bank but he clubs the robber in the head with his colleague's squash racket. He comes home and his girlfriend split having cleaned out the apartment - apparently because he was too mediocre.. Just then the bank robbers girlfriend comes to his door yelling and hitting him because they bank money was for an artificial insemination that she should've had because the robber and her really want kids! He feels really bad and... to make a long movie short, he goes to his criminal brother and tells him that he wants to right his wrong. His bro helps him rob a bank and they go on a looong vendetta to right all their wrongs during which the brother starts killing people (out of necessity if you look at the task at hand) and the main character's shocked! After calling him a psycho, the (psycho) brother says to him that what he's doing's not wrong! -how can anything be wrong? You just find out what you're good at and call it 'right' and then whatever you suck at, you just label it 'wrong'. In that way you're always doing the right thing!
I know my portrayal of this masterpiece cannot convey all that there is to convey (read: it's shoddy!), but the point is clear and simple: today's common belief in darwinism has undermined all meaning and all moral. Why? [no answer] Why not then just kill the people who're in our way, take the money we want/need - MAKE OUR OWN TRUTH? [no answer] Why does the world not see that this FOOOOOLISH - and did I mention UNSUBSTANTIATED? - belief in so-called 'science' (read: blameshifting and RUNNING FROM FAULTS!) is undermining our entire society? The comfortable, vague and devastating 'truths' that people come up with frustrate me so much!! ARGH!!
What are people thinking when they ask me: "...does that mean, Ivan, that you actually believe that I'm going to Hell?" and I say: "Yes.." and then they go: "But that's so mean!" Deal with it people! There's a definite truth, there's nothing you can do to change that, so what're you gonna do about it? (and if you even think of starting on the 'holier-than-thou'-dung, I'll...)
29 August, 2004
18 August, 2004
welling and cisterns
Wow, it's been awhile since my last post, eh?! ("Let's go to Canada, it's great! It's a make-believe state..."=) I've gone back into my busy, busy routine which has taken it's toll on my level of communication online, a routine that keeps me busy every day of the week with only a couple of hours to spare and too little sleep. I'm busy playing worship in church and leading a kid's group for 6-10 year old boys. Taking them birdwatching, fishing, shooting and all that fun stuff... -I really like kids!
But with all that time in church I've been telling God that I've prioritised my time to do work that I've been called to do instead of having a part-time job on the side and so I'm telling Him to help me pay off my debts etc. Hasn't worked yet, but this far God really hasn't failed me once and besides He's probably trying to teach me a thing or two.. [grin]
Another resource that I'm dependent on God for is energy. I don't sleep too much and last year I almost quit everything 'cos I was worn out. I know that the same thing won't happen again if I "draw my strength from The Lord." The only problem is that the verb "to draw" is an active word. -I have to get up and do something aswell between God and I, I've always come out the weakest link. So: Ivan, get your strength from God this season, huh?!
Also worth mentioning is the fact that I'm full of love these days! I like people!!
But with all that time in church I've been telling God that I've prioritised my time to do work that I've been called to do instead of having a part-time job on the side and so I'm telling Him to help me pay off my debts etc. Hasn't worked yet, but this far God really hasn't failed me once and besides He's probably trying to teach me a thing or two.. [grin]
Another resource that I'm dependent on God for is energy. I don't sleep too much and last year I almost quit everything 'cos I was worn out. I know that the same thing won't happen again if I "draw my strength from The Lord." The only problem is that the verb "to draw" is an active word. -I have to get up and do something aswell between God and I, I've always come out the weakest link. So: Ivan, get your strength from God this season, huh?!
Also worth mentioning is the fact that I'm full of love these days! I like people!!
10 August, 2004
the philosophy of the age
Following is an excerpt from my book on the history of Danish litterature [translated] about the romantic period that's largely a part of the 19th century:
"With the universal-romantic philosophy one tried to grasp the arrangement of life, in the same way the Christianity had. The romantics largely adopted Christianity's historical form: The world is created and in the childhood of mankind man was a whole being... Then came the Fall. Man became conscious of himself and was broken as the romantics termed it. The new thing was that they interpreted the Fall as a positive event! This was because history was started by the Fall and the aim of history is a new golden age at a higher level than the old. A golden age created by the human spirit itself that is even greater than the golden age in the Garden of Eden."
Now that sounds like one of the lies of someone I know: "You can be greater than God! You can create your own paradise, see you don't need God!" Lucifer himself was doomed because of that lie and he's pulling man into the pit with him!
Now, what're you gonna do about it?
"With the universal-romantic philosophy one tried to grasp the arrangement of life, in the same way the Christianity had. The romantics largely adopted Christianity's historical form: The world is created and in the childhood of mankind man was a whole being... Then came the Fall. Man became conscious of himself and was broken as the romantics termed it. The new thing was that they interpreted the Fall as a positive event! This was because history was started by the Fall and the aim of history is a new golden age at a higher level than the old. A golden age created by the human spirit itself that is even greater than the golden age in the Garden of Eden."
Now that sounds like one of the lies of someone I know: "You can be greater than God! You can create your own paradise, see you don't need God!" Lucifer himself was doomed because of that lie and he's pulling man into the pit with him!
Now, what're you gonna do about it?
08 August, 2004
my own flesh, blood and bones...
My little sister (12) is a genius! Give her 4½ minutes, and you have graphics for bags, pencil cases and all that kid's stuff that's sell worldwide... [whoa]
btw "hvor er mit solsikkefrø" means "where's my sunflower seed???" -how ingenius is that?!
In other news, I went to the swimming pool today and nearly broke my collar bone playing ruff with a load of other guys there.. The doc at the hospital afterwards said it was broken, 'cept when the x-ray was done it showed that it was just bent.. -really bent! How can a bone just bend like that?! It's like bent 20° plus I can't drive my new car for the next 3-4 days.. [sigh]
05 August, 2004
manic prayer of real reasoning
Sometimes I think I'm senile and other times I think I'm manic depressive.. -probably 'cos I haven't really been close to either disorder but I still do think I have the tendencies. (don't we all, come to think of it?)
I remember a year back and remember thinking: "will I ever grow up? will I ever learn self-control?" 'cos you know, I really do expect these things of myself! I've always had a firm belief in myself (or is it God in me?) although I must admit that sometimes this belief dwindles and - looking at the ppl around me - I'm discouraged because of their development (egocentric, I know..) and because of all the problems I've caused in the last year. I've made two old friends royally mad at me and seriously messed up two other people. -and my 'depressive tendency' (wouldn't call it a depression) is only amplified by those aforementioned odd movies..
"Dear God! I've proved to myself yet again that without You I can't function. Without You, my world falls apart. You're my hope, my peace and my love. Thanks for your forgiveness that causes you to not base Your view of me on my sins but rather on Your love for me.. Thank You for Your mercy that is above clichés, above the empty philosophy of the world and above all the grandiose lies of Satan - the freaking loser!
Keep me, o make me! Be my centre, my outer and all in between. Be my logic, be my reason. Yes, be my life 'cos You're the Answer to the cries of the hearts of all the people in this world who we think have it all together, all the people who carry themselves too well. God, they have sometimes fooled me with their self-deceit but I am fooled no more! You are the Answer and the only one in which we can place our confidence because Your Wisdom puts to shame all the self-crowned wisdom of man. Nuts! God, it really is true that to You, all men are merely like the grass of the field! -so tall, grandiose and all encompassing, to ourselves when in reality, we're as fragile, dependant and as simple as grass.
My worth as a human being, God, is derived from the value that You have placed on me. My influence on Your indescribable HEART - the ever beating HEART of the Maker - is way out of proportion; to my advantage! The words "humbled" and "thankful" do not convey even in part the Reality of my life!
So in spite of the stark contrast between the majesty and grandeur of our beings, God, You have made it possible for me to smile peacefully and truthfully and say something as simple as:
Goodnight God..."
I remember a year back and remember thinking: "will I ever grow up? will I ever learn self-control?" 'cos you know, I really do expect these things of myself! I've always had a firm belief in myself (or is it God in me?) although I must admit that sometimes this belief dwindles and - looking at the ppl around me - I'm discouraged because of their development (egocentric, I know..) and because of all the problems I've caused in the last year. I've made two old friends royally mad at me and seriously messed up two other people. -and my 'depressive tendency' (wouldn't call it a depression) is only amplified by those aforementioned odd movies..
"Dear God! I've proved to myself yet again that without You I can't function. Without You, my world falls apart. You're my hope, my peace and my love. Thanks for your forgiveness that causes you to not base Your view of me on my sins but rather on Your love for me.. Thank You for Your mercy that is above clichés, above the empty philosophy of the world and above all the grandiose lies of Satan - the freaking loser!
Keep me, o make me! Be my centre, my outer and all in between. Be my logic, be my reason. Yes, be my life 'cos You're the Answer to the cries of the hearts of all the people in this world who we think have it all together, all the people who carry themselves too well. God, they have sometimes fooled me with their self-deceit but I am fooled no more! You are the Answer and the only one in which we can place our confidence because Your Wisdom puts to shame all the self-crowned wisdom of man. Nuts! God, it really is true that to You, all men are merely like the grass of the field! -so tall, grandiose and all encompassing, to ourselves when in reality, we're as fragile, dependant and as simple as grass.
My worth as a human being, God, is derived from the value that You have placed on me. My influence on Your indescribable HEART - the ever beating HEART of the Maker - is way out of proportion; to my advantage! The words "humbled" and "thankful" do not convey even in part the Reality of my life!
So in spite of the stark contrast between the majesty and grandeur of our beings, God, You have made it possible for me to smile peacefully and truthfully and say something as simple as:
Goodnight God..."
02 August, 2004
pick your truth
As of late I've watched two movies that included the element of time travel: The Butterfly Effect and Donnie Darko and both movies preach (nope, not taking back that word) that the world is a better place without you. Both of the main characters are presented with the opportunity of changing the past and both of them end up going back and killing themselves. Now what kind of message is that?! Why, o why do people use their lives to spread that kind of message? -a message in direct contradiction with God who says in Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you..."
1. God knew you, knew how you'd turn out and then chose to go ahead forming you, purposing you, choosing you! (the issue of abortion pops into my mind here..)
2. God formed you, YOUR LOOKS (yes, even your toes), your level of intelligence (roughly) and your talents (and lack of the same).
But now the choice is your's. Pick a truth to live after:
1. The world's a better place without you. Your life is only a source of pain to those close to you.
Effects of this option: hopelesness, apathy, self-loathing, hatred and spiritual sickness are some of the most common bi-products.
2. You've been purposed and there is a plan to your being. God loves you and intends for you to have a meaningful, exciting, honest and love-filled life and has also provided an ever open opportunity to enter into this life.
Effects of this option: hope, uncontrollable passion, healthy relations to God and those around you, maximum level of self-worth, absurd levels of joy, well-being, purpose, exciting spiritual events, spiritual battle and self-denial in areas involving your 'fleshly' desires are some of the most common bi-products.
Didn't mean to preach.. just couldn't help m'self. [smile]
"Joy to the world..."
1. God knew you, knew how you'd turn out and then chose to go ahead forming you, purposing you, choosing you! (the issue of abortion pops into my mind here..)
2. God formed you, YOUR LOOKS (yes, even your toes), your level of intelligence (roughly) and your talents (and lack of the same).
But now the choice is your's. Pick a truth to live after:
1. The world's a better place without you. Your life is only a source of pain to those close to you.
Effects of this option: hopelesness, apathy, self-loathing, hatred and spiritual sickness are some of the most common bi-products.
2. You've been purposed and there is a plan to your being. God loves you and intends for you to have a meaningful, exciting, honest and love-filled life and has also provided an ever open opportunity to enter into this life.
Effects of this option: hope, uncontrollable passion, healthy relations to God and those around you, maximum level of self-worth, absurd levels of joy, well-being, purpose, exciting spiritual events, spiritual battle and self-denial in areas involving your 'fleshly' desires are some of the most common bi-products.
Didn't mean to preach.. just couldn't help m'self. [smile]
"Joy to the world..."
being and doing in relations
I've never really been good at having friends and back when I had a girlfriend I wasn't good at 'having her' either. I have some basic problems relating to God as well and I've given these problems alot of thought individually but that the problem in these three relations is the same never occured to me before a couple of days ago. I'd ask myself whether it was just my personality? -the fact that I'm really sanguine and flighty, moving too fast from person to person to stop myself?
Well, no doubt that's a factor but the other day the main reason occured to me and again it traces back to my childhood. (Point for Freud!) My father's a practical kinda guy, the guy that fixes everything himself. He grew up on a farm with six siblings in an environment where relating to others was almost scoffed at. My older brother's pretty good at fixing stuff too and has always been carving stuff if he wasn't out working hard to make money. He's basically the one who's inherited alot of my father's traits while I got my mother's sanguinity and ease of relating. This made me think throughout my late childhood - early teens that my dad didn't really appreciate me so I would work at getting his attention and approval, trying to be practical, fixing stuff and so on.. Now what has this got to do with my relational problems to my friends and ex.?`
Thinking about it, I realised that I'd gotten used to thinking that I had to do/work/perform/be active to gain worth in the eyes of my (Heavenly) father. This also means that today I have a really hard time just being with others without doing. Constantly doing things attempting to strengthen the bond between me and my friends, me and my ex. and me and God.
So now I'm working on really understanding the basic fact that in God's eyes I'm worth the sacrifice of His Son whether I can pray for hours on end or not. Actually this is also the reason that I've never really 'been good at' having my quiet times. I've always thought that I had to say all the right things, work hard at the right heart attitude, quote the right scriptures to gain another emotional experience with God. When all this about just being together with God occured to me I had my first quiet time where I didn't say anything and just let myself rest with God.. [smile] Still a long way to go to implement it in the rest of my life though.
Okay, I don't even wanna read back over this post 'cos I'll make myself rewrite the whole thing.. hmpf!
Well, no doubt that's a factor but the other day the main reason occured to me and again it traces back to my childhood. (Point for Freud!) My father's a practical kinda guy, the guy that fixes everything himself. He grew up on a farm with six siblings in an environment where relating to others was almost scoffed at. My older brother's pretty good at fixing stuff too and has always been carving stuff if he wasn't out working hard to make money. He's basically the one who's inherited alot of my father's traits while I got my mother's sanguinity and ease of relating. This made me think throughout my late childhood - early teens that my dad didn't really appreciate me so I would work at getting his attention and approval, trying to be practical, fixing stuff and so on.. Now what has this got to do with my relational problems to my friends and ex.?`
Thinking about it, I realised that I'd gotten used to thinking that I had to do/work/perform/be active to gain worth in the eyes of my (Heavenly) father. This also means that today I have a really hard time just being with others without doing. Constantly doing things attempting to strengthen the bond between me and my friends, me and my ex. and me and God.
So now I'm working on really understanding the basic fact that in God's eyes I'm worth the sacrifice of His Son whether I can pray for hours on end or not. Actually this is also the reason that I've never really 'been good at' having my quiet times. I've always thought that I had to say all the right things, work hard at the right heart attitude, quote the right scriptures to gain another emotional experience with God. When all this about just being together with God occured to me I had my first quiet time where I didn't say anything and just let myself rest with God.. [smile] Still a long way to go to implement it in the rest of my life though.
Okay, I don't even wanna read back over this post 'cos I'll make myself rewrite the whole thing.. hmpf!
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